As usual, planes don’t disappoint. After taxi-ing all the way to our take off point, the captain made an announcemsnt that we had to go back to the gate. He said something else but I was distracted by something shiny and missed it. We got to the gate and I watched a mechanic go in and out of the cockpit. (Fun fact the origina of the word cockpit goes all the way back to cock fighting pits hundreds of years ago. Word morphed and eventually WWI pilots used the word to compare their brutal conditions as the commander of a plane.)
Eventually the pilot got on said that they were reloading all the fuel and we would be on our way shortly. I wasn’t worried. Fuel system issues? Has anything EVER gone wrong with fuel and planes? I mean I guess the Hindenburg, but I’m sure that’s it...
So, we finally get going. Making my window to catch my connecting flight to less than an hour.
Soon, I would have more important things to focus on...
Flight #1: San Diego to Chicago
The good:
-My Diet Coke
-A quiet businessman seating partner
-Being able screen the movie 1917
The bad:
-The whole fuel system issue - being glad it only took them 45 minutes to fix but then being worried it only took them 45 minutes to fix.
-Sitting in the middle of the plane so that no matter what, someone jumps up to get to the bathroom first, and then the fashion seatbelt turns on and instead of falling, you give up (x three times).
-Father to child discussed below playing knee drums for a very long time in shorts.
The ugly:
-The parents that let their child run around barefoot. 1. Because said child would stop by my seat and try for a creepy staring contest and 2. BAREFOOT ON A PLANE. Samuel L. Jackson would definitely say, “You gotta wear shoes on this motherfucking plane.” Jesus, at least socks. I feel like calling CPS 😆
-The guy that removed his mask to cough a bunch of times and only put it back up because I made a DiGi comment.
-Mother to child mentioned above. Stewardess gets on mic “Hey folks, we know you’re sick of hearing us say this, probably as much as we are sick of saying it - *mother YELLS OUT ‘then stop saying it’* we need you to keep your mask on for the entire flight. That includes your nose.” Man this family deserves each other.
**Update: the family made the top 5 of my worst people list, narrowly beating out condom shirt guy. 1. They are plane landing clappers. 2. They asked people who didn’t have connecting flights to stay on the plane because most of us are rushing after the delay. So dad and kid #1 are just chilling. Chilling all the way up to when the row in front of him are already leaving. So he pushed into me and then spent time getting his bag and his kid. Even though his shit wife and kid #2 were behind me. So what did he do? Stop me from walking past them on the walkway and then stops a abruptly. Yeah, you found out about my low center of gravity ya douchecanoe.
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