(Wednesday, September 2) The drive to Maine from New Hampshire was relatively uneventful… By DiGi standards, at least.
As I drove through New Hampshire, they had no tollbooth collectors. Every toll plaza advised that your plate is recorded and to go pay online (if you didn’t have EZPass).
Easy enough. I’m on it. (Except I still haven’t done that...)
Anyhow, once you entered Maine, that changed… Apparently.
I approached the first toll plaza, behind a truck that also goes to the cash only lane. Well, the truck didn't slow down much and passed through. I’m thinking okay, it’s just like New Hampshire. So me being the perpetual rule follower, for whatever reason, decided to just follow the lead of the car in front of me.
Picture of me in that moment:
Please note, this would make me insane if I were talking to someone who did that. “Would you jump off a bridge too?”
But.
I did it.
I pulled up towards the booth and I was still going 5 to 10 miles an hour and rolled through. Just as I passed the end of the booth, I saw out of the corner of my eye THE TOLL COLLECTOR HUMAN. In that same instance there was some sort of alarm that went off, but I was already to the ramp. I thought the toll police would be quick on my tail. Of course they weren’t.
BUT I am now, officially, and for forever, a toll evader. The kind of person that breaks laws (likely a state statute) to save $0.75. Fuck. At some point I’ll get that official “you’re a POS who thought they could get away with it” demand for payment letter.
I’ll always be A TOLL EVADER.
I’m other news...What I did notice is that Maine had these highway signs, you know the ones that are digital and can be changed. A couple said odd stuff, at least two did. “Camp in the woods, not in the left lane.”
For the life of me, I could not understand what the fuck that sign means. What are people in Maine doing? Why do they need this sign? Why do they need so many (every few miles)? Are people stopping in the fast lane on the freeway to go camping? I don't understand.
And then! A lightbulb! Oh, they mean don’t stay in the passing lane. Clever. Clever, Maine.
And the second sign that I didn't understand either was: “Beat the heat, buckle your seat.”
Being there has been a hot wave heat wave in San Diego, I am immediately and repetitively believed that they had a highway sign referring to how buckling your seatbelt can assist you in a heat wave. Which doesn’t make sense, or at least if it did, I wanted to know how seatbelts cool you down. I'm embarrassed to say that it took me waaaaay too long to understand the actual basis: the heat is slang for being in trouble with by not buckling your safety restraint. Horrible of me. Especially someone who worked law enforcement.
So it’s the 9th and I’ve caught the blog up to the 2nd. I am not good at this...